Heather Flyte

Keepin' my groove on…

June 26, 2011
by hb
0 comments

Adventures with the On-screen TV Guide

The description for an episode of one of these new “Swamp” shows mentioned “cannibal alligators”. I read this, squinted my eyes and hit “enter”. Sho’ ‘nuf the bump before the next commercial was about alligators eating people, not other alligators.

So, just “regular alligators” then.

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Also, why is “Bigfoot: The Definitive Guide” over an hour? How long does it take to say “HORSEPUCKY! GO TO BED NOW!”

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You know those guys in Celtic Thunder are lip-synching, right? Also, they’re totally NOT like the Thunder from Down Under, fyi.

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Michael Cera, everywhere. Fuck you Michael Cera, fuck you.

April 23, 2011
by hb
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There once was a man from Nantucket
if you gave him a bird he would pluck it
if you gave him some wood he would chuck it
if you gave him some corn he would shuck it
if you saddled him up he would buck it
if he found lots of mud he would muck it
if you gave him a haul he would truck it
if you punched at his head he would duck it
if he put on a shirt he would tuck it
if he found a grey hair he would pluck it
(to be continued…)