Heather Flyte

So, this is what happens when I watch American Morning on CNN, they get me thinking and stuff. And the “stuff” is never very good. This morning Jeff Yeager, American cheapskate and author, discussed the five things families can do to save up to $20,000 per year. I eagerly awaited to hear if any of the advice would apply to me. Being a single woman, advice for “families” rarely does, but I like to save money as much as the next person.

Here’s what I learned:

1. Get rid of your cell phone. Well, right off the bat we’re in territory that doesn’t apply to me at all. While he nailed the $100/month rate that I pay, my cell is my ONLY phone so getting rid of it would be impossible. Add to the fact that I have unlimited minutes/services, that my family lives thousands of miles away and that I need to be in contact with my server monitor 24/7, this is one tip I’ll have to pass on.
2. Get rid of your second or third car. Er again, does not apply. Who the heck has three cars? While I have and can live without a car, the time that I save is well above and beyond the cost. 0 for 2 so far.
3. Stop eating out. Now, I totally agree with this one. When I stop eating prepared meals and cook for myself, not only do I find myself with a lot more money, but a little less weight as well. Cooking for yourself is so much healthier, even if you have Kraft dinner every night. At least you’re in some control.
4. Stop buying new clothes. Another winner! I had to forcibly stop my mother from buying me clothes last time she visited and had to allow her to purchase me novelty socks just to sooth her. What Yeager didn’t add was the “buy at thrift stores” addendum that makes adding to your wardrobe a frugal and charitable act.
5. Don’t pay for college room and board. Hmmm. This seems to fly directly in the face of #2, unless you’re lucky enough to live on a bus line with a route to a state university, you’re going to need either R&B or a car. I lived within  walking distance of a wonderful college, that was over $20K per year in tuition. I’m all for families staying together longer and losing the “out at 18″ mentality, but something’s gotta give.

So, what’s my final score, 2  out of 5, not bad considering my track record for television advice. I wonder when people will realize that not all (perhaps not even the majority) of people watching their newscast aren’t living in an over-mortgaged home with 2.3 children and five credit cards.

Some of us just don’t need your advice, I suppose.

On the other hand, I’m sure Mr. Yeager wouldn’t mind if I bought his book second-hand, right?

Well, step two of my plan to dominate the world, one small web site at a time, has taken hold. I spent today relaunching my design blog I Suck @ Design. It’s a place to keep all the links and resources I’ve gathered over the years and a helpful outlet for all my design anguish. I can’t believe I let so much time go between postings, but I’m apt to make up for that in the coming days. I’ve got over 1000 articles to go through in my design feeds and I’m sure there’s at least 300 things worth mentioning.
Tomorrow will be laundry, groceries and working on my business web site. Oh, didn’t you know I had a business? I have the license to prove it. But that’s for another post. This is just a tease.

Zombies man zombies

My mother is trying to understand my facination with zombies. Being a good daughter, I tried to explain… “I don’t have an affinity for zombie movies or anything, I just believe in being prepared.” See, I have enjoyed the zombie movie genre, but I don’t look out for the next jump, or scare, or undulating mass of gore.

I’m looking for tips.

I’ve informed my apartment building neighbors that when the zombies attack, the first thing we need to do is take out the stairs. (Correction, I’ve informed my all my second-floor apartment building neighbors.) I have a heavily armed neighbor, so we’re good on the ammunition front. I’ve got at least 10 cans of no-salt peas, so we’re good on the food front. I also have a rudimentary knowledge of first aid, being the daughter of a nurse and the recipient of a gnarly skin cancer operation, so we’re good on the medical front.

In fact, we’ve got all fronts covered.

Aim for the head, that’s the most important thing I’ve learned. Winging or legging isn’t enough. Zombies are tenatious, they’ll keep coming like an inch-worm after you’ve cut them down like the Black Knight. You need to blow their freaking skull away.

Second, don’t get bit. Everyone knows that being bit by a zombie is the most effective way to become a zombie. If a friend, loved one, authority figure or fellow second-floor apartment building neighbor is even scratched by one of the lurching undead, you’ve got to take them out.

Sorry Dad, but if you’ve got a zombie wound, I’m blowing your head off.

I’m sure he would understand.

Third, make sure you’re on high ground when the zombies attack. I can’t emphasize it enough. If you’re lucky enough to be innundated by slothful zombies, you may be able to out run them until you get to high ground, but, as the cinema has shown, there’s always the possibility of fast, tricky zombies and there’s no way anyone will be able to outrun a rage zombie with a single purpose and zero mind. The best way to get to high ground is to be there already.

I’ve got my money on Tibetan gurus trying to repopulate the Earth.

Anyway, remember,  head + no-bite + high. Learn those and you’ll live.

Further reading: The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead